I’m still a fortnight behind.  That’s just my style now, or should I say life motto: better late than never!

Monday:

I had messaged work to say I wouldn’t be in, as I was pretty much bed-ridden by this point.  Ian had agreed to take Mia to kindy, but usually starts work at 7am, so had woken and got her ready mega early.  I was certain that the centre doors opened at 7am, but it turned out it was 7:30am, so I got an angry phone call from grumpy husband (GH) berating my stupidity and asking if I could come and wait with her because he was going to be really late for work?!  I hadn’t showered in 24 hours and when I lifted my head off the pillow it literally pounded.  Sorry, I wasn’t going anywhere at present.  In the bad books by 7am on a Monday.  A possible new record?!

Around mid-morning I did that thing where you feel fractionally better, so think you’re cured!  I stood up and my legs buckled, nearly sending me flying, before I managed to grab the bed.  My head was still pounding, so I got back in bed and slept for the rest of the morning.

Today was the day of our fertility clinic appointment and the last thing I wanted to do was miss it.  Ian didn’t want to go anyway, as he didn’t want to drive to Brisbane and back, and when he rang to check on me at lunchtime he did his best to dissuade me from attending.  But I was adamant I was definitely going!  After 2pm’s failed attempt to make it into the shower, I had to concede defeat and rang Ian so he could be smug.  I rang the clinic, apologised profusely (I think they could tell I was genuine from my voice?!) and managed to rearrange for the following week.  Undeniably disappointed!☹️

A friend asked me last week if I think the universe is trying to tell me something?  Well, it looks like it’s screaming at me to be perfectly honest!  But I’m not one to listen!  I’m a stubborn Scorpio!  Of course I would be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated though.

Tuesday

Still in flu hell.  Cancelled more appointments. See, this is the trouble with illness: you rack up more things to catch up with the longer you’re sick, which adds to your stress. Then you drag yourself to things before you’re better and prolong the illness!

The worst part of being ill is definitely still having to parent.  Mia did not understand that Mummy felt really sick. She kept trying to jump on me in the guise of a cuddle and then got all offended that I didn’t want a snuggle, as that’s what I gave her when she was sick! Cue doe eyes and sniffles, so I felt like Cruella De Vil and agreed to the snuggle, which made me overheat in my seemingly never ending cycle of hot cold hot cold hot cold!?

I rang Ian to give him an SOS without actually asking him to come home. Subliminal SOSes don’t work! I asked him to have a word with Mia and he just said “Are you being a good girl for Mummy?!”  Well of course she was going to say yes!?. To my utter surprise, he rang back 10 mins later saying he was coming home to look after Mia! Hallelujah! So he got my subliminal message…or he thought I was going to be incapable of providing care for his darling daughter – either/or=same outcome! I slept the rest of the day away in bliss!  Well, as blissful as you can be when you’re throwing the covers off pouring in sweat one minute, then grabbing them and huddling in a duvet cocoon with chattering teeth the next!  Actually “bliss” was completely the wrong word, but I wasn’t a human trampoline anymore, so it felt a hundred times better!

Daddy took Mia to gymnastics where it was assessment day…she arrived home in tears. She didn’t get her one remaining “tick” (symbol, not insect!) for “cartwheel” which means she hasn’t achieved the next level yet.  I don’t think that would have made her cry usually, but the fact that Ian was appalled at her behaviour would!  Apparently she was: “not listening, acting like a child (um…?), picking her nose and putting her hands down her pants!” That’s my girl! She’s pretty gross!? Apparently it’s my fault because “I let her get away with it.”? I gave her cuddles (despite overheating issues) and that was wrong because “she needs to know that that behaviour is not okay.”  Well, sorry, different parenting styles are coming into play here. She’s not in the military and she has just turned five, so sorry (not sorry) if giving her a comfort hug and emphasising that she only needs to perfect ONE more thing before she passes her next level is my style, rather than telling her off! As I pick my nose with my hands down my pants writing this blog, I wonder whether this behaviour is hereditary or not?! JOKING…half…now you’re wondering which half, aren’t you?!?

Wednesday: 

I had to woman up today, as Ian left early for an overnight work trip to Brisbane, so I showered for the first time in 3 days and got Mia and I kindy and work ready. By the end of that I was already shattered! My legs felt very wobbly,  so I staggered across the work car park like Bambi on Ice and by 10am I was wishing I was still in bed. The classic case of feeling progressively worse as the day goes on. I couldn’t even bail early as I had a 4:30pm appointment! I was granted a piece of some students’ pizza for lunch which saved me driving to get anything, but I’ve barely eaten anything for the last few days and haven’t really felt hungry either.  Unheard of for me, I am a total foodie (read guts!).

By the time I picked Mia up after kindy, I just wanted to go to bed and to stop her whining about missing Daddy (how?! He hadn’t even been gone a day!) We went and got pizza for tea, and followed it up with chocolate ice cream. That must have given me the sugar rush I needed to do a dance party, bath and bed…and collapse!?

Thursday: 

I was woken ridiculously early by a wailing Mia missing Daddy! Seriously?!?  I felt like I’d been hit by a truck again! So today was the day of cancelling: appointments, tutoring and I really wanted to cancel Mia’s dance lesson, but she guilt-tripped me into taking her, even though I was not fit for public consumption! Luckily there was hardly anyone there to see my sorry state…they’ve probably all got flu!

There were now mountains of washing and washing up and I was shivering in bed with all my clothes on like an icicle! Bad times!?

Ian returned home from his trip, took one look at said mountains and instantly became GH! Worse times!?

Friday: 

I woke up feeling slightly better, but didn’t really feel like helping at playgroup. I turned on the playgroup group chat to see people bailing left, right and centre, so I thought I’d better go, plus Mia was desperate to get out of the house, so I dragged myself along.

We still ended up a little late, not least because I was trying to sort out a little situation with our first choice of school for Mia for next year.  We are not in the correct catchment area, so I went to put her name down on a waiting list over a year ago and was told that I was first on the list, which meant I would be the first to be contacted if they had any spaces.  I had heard on the grapevine (aka a neighbour whose daughter goes there) that people were going in for interviews, so I thought I had better call in and check what was going on, without sounding like a pushy parent.  The receptionist said she was not on the list!  PANIC!!!? She asked if she had any siblings because that would help?  My poor dysfunctional ovaries being penalised again!? As calmly as I could, I explained that the lady I spoke to previously had assured me that I was first on the list.  She said she was going to get her to call me back as she was in the middle of conducting interviews!  DOUBLE PANIC!!!??

At playgroup, Mia has given herself the role of  “happy birthday” singer, but today decided to play shy, so I started singing and she snatched the mic back off me – diva!??When she had finished singing, she started to run back to her place and tripped over the microphone cord and fully face planted! She sprang back up trying to style it out, but this girl knows how to make an exit as well as an entrance!?

Today was the first in a while that I hadn’t cancelled any appointments!  We went to my friend Cheree’s first ( a little plug for Stella Skin & beauty!) for waxing.  Mia ran off to play with her little friend Taylor who was there for the weekend and my relaxation time came crashing to a halt when Mia and Taylor decided to chase a chicken around the house!  As you do!

Two scallywags and a chicken! ???

Like butter wouldn’t melt!…And looks can be deceiving!?

Saturday:

Mia was invited to her friend Mia’s Trolls party at Inflatable World in the morning.  Their other friend, Mia, was there too!  I completely inadvertently gave her a ridiculously common name, which I always said I wouldn’t do, being an “Emma” and being one of 6 in my year group in secondary school!  But as my Mum before me with my name, I had never taught a Mia and didn’t really know any…until we named our Mia and then they all popped out of the woodwork!  It’s funny how life repeats itself like that!

Mia and her friend…Mia…at their friend…Mia…’s party!?

It was assessment day at swimming, so after dashing from the party and quickly swapping party outfit for swimming outfit, Mia did her usual assessment day trick of panicking and trying to drown herself, rather than show off her swimming skill!  There is something about the assessor and his clipboard which make her lose all ability, it’s ridiculous!  Then she cried because another girl in her group was moving up and she’s going to miss her!  Maybe if she stops trying to drown herself, she’ll stand a chance of moving up too?! Give me strength!?

We had rearranged our anniversary dinner for this evening, but I had had no interest (or present) from Ian, or apology, so I was being my usual stubborn self and we ended up arguing. The end result was that Ian took Mia to Pizza Hut and I sat at home and ate nuts, because I wasn’t going to cook and I thought cutting my nose off to spite my face was a good look. Nope, I just ended up looking like a loser eating my nuts!  Conclusion: making yourself a martyr to try to make someone see your point of view ultimately only hurts you!?

Sunday: 

As well as a miserable night, I also had an uncomfortable night, featuring hot and cold flushes again!  Ugh!  As an added bonus, I woke up with Mount Vesuvius on my lip which looked like I’d had dodgy lip filler! Double ugh! On further inspection, it was a series of cold sores joined together in a mountain range on my lip!  I have been so ill and run down for weeks now that I think my body is screaming enough is enough!  

I had a pretty lazy day, pretty much waiting for an apology from Ian. In the end, he came to talk to me, laughed at my lip and said I looked like Marge Simpson!?  We discussed last night’s argument, but he said he couldn’t take me seriously with my dodgy lip, so we kind of made up.  I think.  We have tentatively booked next Saturday night in for “anniversary dinner take 3!”  Let’s see how we can screw it up next week!

Mia wanted me to play Connect 4, which she just got for her birthday, with her.  Now I’m not the kind of parent who is just going to let her kid win to build their self-confidence.  Sorry not sorry about that.  I don’t think it’s a good life lesson!  So when she inevitably lost, she flipped and chucked the entire thing across the room!  Ian says she’s just like me!  We’re pretty much screwed.  

See you next week for more tales of destruction then!