Monday: 

Finished my blog fairly early by my standards, which was quite ironic because then the guy over the back fence started his weekly Sunday night party (antisocial idiot!) and Mia woke up from a nightmare at 4am and peed her pants!? Then she was “full of beans” and couldn’t go back to sleep! Starting a Monday feeling refreshed is clearly out of the question! 

I did have quite a quiet day at work for once though. I got to do a couple of school visits and talk teaching which was nice.  However the teacher I chatted to was overworked, stressed and thinking of quitting, so I might as well have been talking to a teacher in the U.K.  I’m still not sure whether I’m going to be lured back into it yet or not.

I got home and made a dinner which actually tasted damn good and Ian liked! I know, I was surprised too! And a little smug! Mia didn’t like it, but you can’t win them all! Is this what “normal” life is like?! How novel!?

Tuesday:

I had an early dental appointment so of course Mia needed waking up and bribed to do any task! 5 minutes late. Standard. 

I was having my first filling of my life and then the dentist told me I needed two! I must have blanked that out of the info! I know it’s nothing to most people, but this was my first one so I was a little nervous. More about how Mia was going to act while I was incapacitated, but still nervous. I set her up with her MLP game on my phone and then halfway through she started taking photos of me! Really?! 

 All I can say is thank goodness it’s blurry! But it does have a fetching MLP border!?

It was so weird having one side of my face not working! The dentist said it would feel like I had had a stroke! I couldn’t speak properly which confused Mia, so I explained to her that I couldn’t feel my face. “Well I can!” she replied, stroking my cheek!  Riiight! Couldn’t be bothered to explain.  Had a drink of water and promptly dribbled it out of the side of my mouth. Note to self not to drink in public over the following 3 hours, but I had a busy day, including tutoring so wasn’t sure how it was going to go.

Aside from the photos and jumping on my legs once, Mia had been pretty well behaved, but I soon found out why, as I had a text from Telstra saying I had used 50% of my data and she’d been watching YouTube the whole time!?

Acupuncture next: Mia was being a little shit so I let her watch YouTube again, mainly because I couldn’t move to stop her, mind you!

There was an inadvertent talk about the birds and the bees when Mia asked why boys and girls have different bits!?I didn’t go into too much detail, but said that mummys and daddys put their bits together when they want to make a baby! Wide-eyed she said “Ewwwww! I am NEVER going to do that!” Great news!?

Gymnastics: Mia climbed to the top of the wall frame, where they were doing pull ups. There is no way I could do that, so it baffles me how their little bodies can do so much!  She then jumped down from the top rung and got severely told off by her coach. Cue a massive crying fit and refusing to take part for the rest of the class! She was properly sobbing, bless her. She’s actually a sensitive little soul underneath!  But she missed the whole cartwheel session which was what she needed!

My fertility tracker said tonight was the night (not that it can be completely accurate with my irregularities, but I don’t want to miss an opportunity!) so I lured Ian into the freezing cold bedroom. Nights are freezing this week in Toowoomba! Having sex on cue is pretty awkward and I’m completely overthinking everything, which means I can’t relax. Things didn’t go to plan! Starting to worry the baby dream is over because we’re never going to have sex again!?

Wednesday:

Tried a new way to work this morning in an attempt to save time. Totally backfired and ended up in a longer queue of traffic than usual because of roadworks! I’m going to get fired at this rate! Nobody seemed to notice though, fingers crossed, so dashed into my lesson nonchalantly and acted obliviously!?

Went to use my computer to do some last minute (would it be anything else?) printing and it had carked it! Not the best start to the day!?

Spoke to a colleague today about the sex situation because she’s been in the same position (no pun intended, that came out wrong…as did that!?) She told me to have a drink, relax, switch my brain off and think what it used to be like when we first met. So the plan for tonight is a few drinks, sexy undies and operation seduction!?

Talked Ian into a couple of drinks (didn’t take much obviously!), got Mia into bed early and got into seductress character. Ian’s reaction was laughter (not what I was going for!?) but I kept my nerve and he jumped up from the couch pretty speedily when he realised I was serious!  There were still some awkward moments when my brain started trying to get involved but mission was complete!? Now to make it a regular occurrence without awkwardness…

Thursday:

It was Mia’s school interview today. I was prepared for some embarrassing outburst, but she actually pleasantly surprised me and behaved like the model pupil! She did all the tests quickly and then was asked if she could count to 20 to which she replied “I can count to 100!” “Really?!” said the lady “Let’s hear you!” Now, she has never been able to do that without a little prompting before, so I mouthed to the lady “she can’t!” and got ready for her to get stuck. Well she only bloody did the whole lot on her own with barely a pause! We stopped her as she started going “one hundred and one” as we might have been there for a while! But I was pretty chuffed! 

We had a tour of the school where the lady was introducing us to all of the prep teachers, saying “This is Mia. She can count to 100 already!” and I started thinking “Oh no, she’s going to be tarred as a know-it-all kid!” when the lady showed us the prep homework, sight words etc and Mia started saying “I already know all of those!” and started reading them. I quickly hushed her up before she was the geek of the year group!  Coming from a teaching background, I am well aware that there are certain children who are regarded as “smart arses” and Mia could quite easily put herself into that category as she hasn’t learnt humility yet. So it’s about being bright without tooting your own horn constantly! She still has a lot to learn! I remember a teacher in Year 4 commenting that I thought I knew everything and me being mortified, so much so that I still remember the incident so clearly now, so I don’t want her to fall into the same trap. The smartest people don’t need to tell everyone about it!?

Anyway, I was so happy with her that I let her play on the park straight afterwards and we only ran into Ian up a tree! (Not literally, you wouldn’t get me up a tree for toffee!) That’s why he hadn’t answered my phone call earlier!

Watching Daddy be a monkey! ?

In the evening it was Father’s Day celebration at Mia’s kindy. They decided to combine it with book week, which I was hoping we had escaped until she got to big school. We raided her dress up cupboard and found my 80s book version of Snow White!  We didn’t have a red apple, so had to make do with a green plastic one!

Mia White with green plastic apple!??

Some of the Dads had made a real effort to dress up. Ian, on the other hand, went as a council worker (aka couldn’t be bothered to change out of his work clothes!).

Ian’s fancy dress was…authentic!?

Seeing as those two were out having pizza and ice cream at Father’s night, I took the opportunity to get a takeaway from Noodle Box and a few drinks! Cheers!?

Friday: 

A very busy day but nothing anecdotally valuable!?

Saturday: 

Ian was working and I really wanted to do parkrun and get back on track with my fitness after the flu, so had prepped Mia the night before and she was all up for it! Saturday morning I had to wake her up and bribe her to get ready. Then when she realised the jellybean man (old guy who gives out jellybeans partway round which act as an incentive for Mia) wasn’t there, she was already ready to quit! By the hill, she was “busting” for the toilet and crying! Took her to the toilet (which she didn’t actually need! Con artist!) but said we were now behind the tailrunners, so would have to get a wriggle on! Tears. Got to the end of the first lap and she was crying so much I decided it wasn’t worth my pain. Told her we wouldn’t be able to go out for breakfast as a reward if we stopped after one lap. She still wanted to stop. How annoying?! Got to our friends at the end and she realised we weren’t actually going for breakfast and decided she wanted to run another lap now! Too late buddy! More tears! So glad I got up early! ?Rang Ian at work to tell him about her embarrassing behaviour and he told her it was okay and he wouldn’t want to run either! Not helpful!?

I was in a foul mood for the rest of the day. I was aware of it, but couldn’t snap out of it (I’ll blame the hormones) and Mia was being a little madam which didn’t help!  We had plans for movies and dinner but our friends cancelled late afternoon.? Ian came home from work and moaned that I didn’t want to go out and get dinner, so we ended up pointlessly arguing and it got way more heated and brutal than it should have. Decided to sleep on it…in separate rooms.  I still stayed up wrapping his Father’s Day presents though!

Sunday:

Got up early to do the washing up so his lordship wouldn’t moan (he later informed me that he’d got up, seen the state of the kitchen, groaned and gone back to bed!)?

Mia was ridiculously excited that it was Father’s Day and gave her lovingly crafted card. The dog gave his card and present too (funny how he never remembers Mothers Day though!?) Great choices if I do say so myself! A frying pan to make dog shaped eggs (who doesn’t want that?!) and some jerky!?

A picture Mia did for Daddy. She wanted to write “Ow! Your beard scratches me!” but realised that was a lot of writing, so changed it to “Wow” instead!?

We were meant to be going out to breakfast but Ian changed his mind and said we might go for lunch instead. He didn’t really want to go anywhere, but I insisted we do something as Mia was so excited.

Ian said we had to get ready for the rental inspection on Wednesday anyway, but I said it’s not next week, it’s the week after! “Okay, just check to be safe though”, he said. I checked the e-mail. It was this Wednesday!  To say the house needed a good clean and tidy was an understatement! 

I started with the laundry but I was leisurely, which didn’t go unnoticed by GH – he is such a moaner! It’s Sunday and Father’s Day for heaven’s sake! Tried to get him to chill out, but he is possibly the most stubborn man in the world so he wouldn’t have done it now I’d told him! Maybe I should have tried reverse psychology?!

It was nearing lunchtime, so asked where he wanted to go. He decided he didn’t want to go for lunch because he had too much to do, so I made him promise we would go out for dinner! 

Ian was cleaning the toilet and found some brown stains on the wall…yup…our daughter is a shit-smearer!?? You know sometimes when you go to a public toilet and some disgusting person has done that and you think “How foul! What kind of person would do that?!” Well…my daughter! I live with someone who does that! Kids are gross! I went to interrogate her and she said “I did it in the other toilet as well!!!” as if that made it better!? Located the offending stain and tried to scrub it off without heaving, which was hard. By this point, Ian had discovered that she had been decorating another wall from yet another orifice! Snot emulsion, anyone?!?. Next time someone comments on how cute she is, I will relay this story!

Finally got him out of the house in the afternoon to go for a walk in the park. We took the dog and Mia took her bike. Well, she was the biggest drama queen/wailing banshee/embarrassment to be with! She’s never been keen on bikes but today was ridiculous! She cried because: it was too hard to pedal; because she went off the path and onto the grass; because she was going too fast down the slopes (I swear there are faster snails!) and then did the most over dramatic fake fall off the bike and screamed her head off! Passersby were amused, while we just shrugged our shoulders at them. Told her that we wouldn’t go out for dinner if she didn’t do one lap of the lake with no help, so she pedalled off promisingly but had another meltdown by the first slope. Then she cried because we wouldn’t be able to go out for dinner now! Give me strength!?

I’m doing Steptember again this year, which raises money for kids with cerebral palsy, so have to do 10,000 steps a day for the month of September. I set off on another lap around the lake (as my current step count was pitiful) while Ian and Mia played on the playground. Got a call from Ian halfway round saying we had to go home immediately as Mia needed the toilet! There was one at the park but apparently it was gross (anyone would think it had shit on the walls or something?!)?

Got home and Mia was in full brat mode and ended up in time out. I told her we would definitely not be going out for dinner now as she didn’t deserve it, but was extra annoyed because now I couldn’t go out for dinner! I have a real knack of spiting myself recently!?

We settled on an Indian takeaway for dinner, but it was a little bit of a letdown to be honest.

I was putting Mia to bed when I realised that she had broken the M on her Mia letters on her chest of drawers! I was fuming, so said “no storytime now!” and switched the lights out. I could hear her sobbing away, which made me feel bad, but she needs to know that her actions have consequences! Not the most relaxing and peaceful Father’s Day!

Such is life with kids! Can’t live with them without tearing your hair out, most certainly can’t live without them!  The same goes for husbands now I think about it…?‍?‍?